What Is This?

I want it to be after Christmas so that I can leave my house. 

Move in with my girlfriend because they offered. My mom even asked me if I wanted to live there. And I rather would live down there. better than living here and having my every movement controlled. Why don’t I just do it before Christmas? the only special thing happening is that my brother is coming home for a month before going to Germany. We’re barely celebrating Christmas because of money, I guess. I don’t know anything about our money situation cause no one ever tells me straight forward. I always hear shit through my brother. fuck this. my mom just smacked me on my shoulder and almost kicked me in the shin, good thing I moved.

I am so freaking happy that Britny entered my life. 1) She’s awesome, I love her very much. She makes me happy. 2) she has helped me realized how much shit I let happen to me. How controlling my mom is of me. 

Next week when I go back down to my girlfriend’s, I’m grabbing an application and filling it in. If I get hired…an easier way to say bye to this house. I got a job and I save more money by living there. 

Goddammit. My mom pisses me off. Even more so now. It’s ridiculous how much Britny has helped me realize. My dad is even becoming less cool. He’s still cool. But still.

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I hate my bed. I hate how I sleep.

I woke up with my neck hurting and my body stiff and sore.

The feeling went away once I saw her face.

But now I’m home, she called me crying. Her parents are dicks. 

The feeling is back. I can’t relax. 

I feel useless right now.

I wish I had my own place.

punch me in the face.
just punch me.
really hard.